That is how it remains today, and why people from all faiths are drawn to this place.  Over the years, the painted facades have faded in places, allowing the Christian mosaics to come through again, existing side by side with the still vibrant Islamic patterns and symbols.  As I wandered through Hagia Sophia (the Greek for Holy Wisdom) I was moved by one particular image:  in one smaller domed area, a Muslim symbol and a Christian cross seem to be merged, both equally present yet somehow superimposed on one another.  Which one was dominant?  It was impossible to tell.  Which was more beautiful?  The beauty of each was enhanced by the presence of the other.  The artists were separated by 10 centuries, but the depictions worked together, almost as if they were planned by one artist, after all.

There is always controversy when religions seek to share sacred space.  That is true today, as well, as there is a movement on each side to “restore” the building to either the Christians or the Muslims.  To be turned back into a true place for worship, as each side maintains.  However, the moments I spent in Hagia Sophia, amongst the Christian mosaics and the Islamic murals were some of the most worshipful moments of my life.  God is so much bigger than any of our depictions or imaginings.  Perhaps the holy wisdom being offered in this special place is just that:  we need the best of all our faiths to inspire us, to offer us even a glimpse of the way the Spirit worked and is still working through us.  Wherever you find an image or a word or an idea or a prayer that connects you more deeply to the meaning of your life, you are in the Presence of God.  May our eyes and ears be opened by grace so that we can recognize God in every face and every place.

Thanks be to God!

Kim

When my oldest son was born I saw myself entering into the forest of motherhood, a completely unknown territory for me. It became clear pretty swiftly that being a mother was going to take all of my energy, intelligence, imagination and love — and that I really didn’t have a clue what I was doing. Yet, I was certain God had called me to this adventure and I knew the journey of being a mother would color everything else I would do the rest of my life.

Now my two sons are wonderful, indomitable twenty some-things. The trees have thinned and I am very grateful for all the lessons I’ve learned along the way. In my eyes, they are lessons that also have meaningful application in the church today. Perhaps the church in our time could remedy some of our most serious flaws by becoming a good mother for our family of faith. See if you think so too.

1. The Goal as a Mother: Be Good Enough

I had learned as a child, from home, school and church that my goal was to be perfect. But from a lot of failures and false starts I learned that perfection is impossible, especially for a mother. It’s also undesirable. As mothers, we are the world to our infant children — their experience of us set their expectations for the world in a way that would be difficult and painful for them to change later in life. I realized that since the world is far from perfect, showing my children that what the world does offer is perfectly good enough was important. It also made me realize that being good enough as mother was a worthy goal for me.

I see that the church and our leaders also feel deeply this burden to be perfect — perfectly loving, perfectly attentive, perfectly present. But this is no more possible than it was for me to be a perfect mother. And it is just as undesirable. We cannot transcend being of this world. We are beautifully flawed humans with weaknesses as well as strengths. What is most important is being good enough; nurturing our faith community and sustaining mission in service to our neighbors beyond us. Our present burden of perfection is too much to bear — Good enough is what God expects of us.

2. Say “Yes” More

It took me some time to recognize that my visceral response to everything as mother was “No.” Perhaps this came from an ingrained sensitivity to what could go wrong. Whatever its source, I came to see how withering this was to the spirits of my children. Out of my love for them, I committed myself to saying “Yes” if at all possible (and often enough it was not, like “No, homework comes before that Nintendo game”). They came to expect more, “Yes” than “No” which I believe contributes mightily to their willingness now to explore the unknown. In time, they heard enough “Yes’s” to expect the world to say “Yes” to them and they came to say “Yes” most of the time to their own ideas, as well.

In church, think about how often we hear phrases like this: “We tried that before and it didn’t work,” or “We don’t have the budget for that,” or “The rules say you can’t do that,” or “Wait a little while longer” with the hope that you will forget about it. Simply put, these answers all say one thing: “No.” How can we wonder that people wander away or get discouraged when the answer routinely is “No”? What might the church landscape come to be if we cultivated a presumption of saying, “Yes”?

3. Mothers Don’t Hold All the Power

Perhaps other mothers out there will relate to this: There was a pretty distinct moment in both of my pregnancies when I felt that the growing being inside my body changed from an extension of myself to something different from me that was nestled inside me. It may have been when each reached a certain size. Whatever caused the change, from that moment on it was clear to me that eventually this being would be on its own in the world. When I look back, this was the moment when my children started to exert their power over our relationship.

This was startling to me. It may be common sense to many but I never thought that my children would bring considerable power to the process of parenting. From the very beginning, they had feelings, opinions, likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, insights — in other words, they were real people. My younger son resisted taking a nap and having a regular bedtime from two weeks old and to this day his preferred routine with late nights and late waking mystifies me. He taught me very early that he had his own mind and brought it to our relationship with amazing power.

We say in the church that each one of us is a beloved child of God. It would help us to accept one huge consequence of this truth: each one of us has power to bring to the church family. All of us are unique and important and filled with gifts to bring to blessed transformation in the church.

4. Children Grow… and So Do Mothers

Change is inherent to being human, but I quickly learned that children grow and change at a speed beyond anything I had imagined. And it was not enough for me to simply hold on for dear life on this wild ride. A mother needs to change in her own unique ways in order to keep pace with the change in her children. The growing edges of the mother and of the child are entwined, but distinct. Both are on their own journey, sometimes easily forgotten as the mother struggles to simply keep up with the daily tasks at hand. I found that nurturing my own growth was crucial so that I could keep up with my children as they inevitably changed, that is, grew up.

When my oldest son was in high school, he asked me if he could join a group that planned to visit the Heifer Project sites in Cambodia and Vietnam. Though I knew it was a trip that could be a great opportunity for growth, it took all I had to summon the courage to say “Yes” to my child traveling across the world with strangers. In doing so I had to step up and develop whole new skills — registering him for the trip, getting visas from foreign embassies, getting the right immunizations, let alone learning how to let go. I could only do this because I had already been changing — growing as a person. I had seized opportunities for my own transformation each year and so was more open to adjusting to the change in my child.

Absorbing this lesson from motherhood could be so wonderfully transforming for the church. Our parishioners — our children — are changing, especially if we are doing a good job of making the connections between God and their daily lives. It is then utterly crucial that the church be committed to changing in a way that accommodates the change of the members of the church family. I am blessed to be in the Reformed tradition whose hallmark is “Reformed, always Being Reformed” so that we understand the way our change is inevitable and good. A great deal of conflict within the church would disappear were we to learn this from mothering.

5. It Really Does Take a Village

I was extremely possessive as a new mother. At neighborhood parties, I was not the mom who was comfortable having my infant passed around among the adults. I think about this now and it embarrasses me! It took me some time, but the longer I was a mother the more I realized that it did, indeed, take a village to raise a child. For one thing, it is a basic way in which your child’s connection with the world expands beyond you. It is a very good thing for your child to be in loving contact with a variety of adults from the very start to introduce him or her to the big, wide world.

It is also good for a mother to disappear and come back from her child’s earliest age. At the very least her child learns to trust that she will return when she disappears. And at the same time, her child learns that there are other adults who love him or her and can care for them well. For me, as a mother, I also learned that my love for my child was not in the attachment — the physical being with my child — my love was a deep spiritual truth that was constant whether I was with my children or separate from them. It is a blessing for us all to know and trust this love wherever we are in any one moment.

The church needs to see that it takes the whole village to nurture faith in each one of us; that we need everyone in our faith communities for us to love and serve Jesus Christ together. It worries me how often in the church today our love for one another lacks the motherly quality of deep constancy that abides through attachment and separation, through disagreement or conflict, through good days and bad days among us. God loves us all in this way. I look for the day the church lives out the same motherly love.

this story of Peggy’s life with us)

Margaret (Peggy Lou) Doxsee Newman

July 23, 1921 – March 24, 2012

Peggy Newman, life-long resident of Redwood City, died on Saturday, March 24, 2012, at the age of 90. She was preceded in death by her husband, John E. Newman, six months prior. Peggy  had just returned to her home after spending the last few months visiting her daughters. Her roots ran deep for the Redwood City area having lived her entire life in only 3 houses that were all within 2 miles of each other. 

During her lifetime she saw many changes to the Peninsula and she was often called upon as a historian to help with local articles and books about the area. Peggy’s families were all active in Redwood City as was she.  Her maternal grandfather, Rev. C. H. Stevens, was a minister for the 1st Congregational Church of Redwood City, where Peggy continued as an active member until her death.  Her father, Wilbur H. Doxsee, coined Redwood City’s slogan “Climate Best by Government Test”, was involved in securing the current site for the local YMCA, and was instrumental in guiding the family business (San Mateo County Title – now First American) through the Depression.

Peggy graduated from Sequoia High School in 1938 where she was a member of the Treble Clef Singers.  She attended San Jose State, transferred to University of Oregon in 1940, but moved home when WWII broke out.   She graduated from UCLA in 1943 with a BA degree focusing on early childhood education. 

When Peggy married John E. Newman on October 19, 1947, they moved into the adobe home with tile roof they built in Palomar Park, residing there 64 years until their deaths.  Peggy spent her life taking care of others, raising a family and tending to her home and garden, which she loved. She was a charter member of the Palomar Park Garden Club, which began in 1948, and served in many different capacities for this club during her years “living on the hill”.

Peggy Newman is survived by her children: son John M. Newman and wife Maritxu of Antioch, daughter Nancy N. McKenzie and husband David of Auburn, and daughter Janet L. Sclar and husband Tracy of Hydesville. Peggy also has two grandsons, Jimmy & Tommy McKenzie of Auburn.  Peggy is also survived by her sister-in-law, Kitty Newman, niece Tish Busselle (Jim) of San Mateo, nephew John H. Newman (Nancy) of San Carlos, nephew-in-law Larry Abramson of Washington DC, and their families.  Peggy was preceded in death by her husband John, her brother, Clarence (Bud) Doxsee, her brother in-law, Al W. Newman and her niece, Caroline Newman.

Peggy had a true love of the area and its history, her home, her family, her neighbors and her friends. She never stopped learning, or being involved, and was a true role model for all with her caring heart and acceptance of everyone.  She will long be remembered for her handwritten notes and cards that she so freely shared with others.

There will be a memorial service to celebrate Peggy’s life on 

Saturday, May 19th

2:00 PM

Community United Congregational Church

1336 Arroyo Street

San Carlos

 While Peggy supported many charitable organizations and groups, the family suggests donations made in her memory to:

Yosemite Conservancy

101 Montgomery Street, Suite 1700

San Francisco, CA 94104

 or

 Compassion Radio

PO Box 2770

Orange, CA  92859

“How will you live your life in a way that makes the world more compassionate?” 

 I thought of his question again when I was reading in preparation for Easter this year.  According to Corrine Ware, Jesus’ question to his followers was not:  ”How do we start a new church?”  He did not intend to start a new religion.  He was rooted and committed to the Judaism of his time and place, and new institutions didn’t interest him.  So what was Jesus asking?

Here are Ware’s thoughts:  ”What did Jesus want to accomplish?  He preached about inner change.  His agenda was transformation; his activity was lived-out compassion.  Hebrew scripture speaks of God as being compassionate as well as being holy.  And Jesus placed his weight on the compassion of God.  ’Be compassionate, ever as your Father is compassionate’ (Luke 6:36).  His stories told about a prodigal son and the father who ‘had compassion,’ the Good Samaritan who ‘showed compassion,’ and the unmerciful servant who did not.  He healed on the Sabbath out of compassion and felt his action took precedence over any other consideration.”  

 (Discover Your Spiritual Type, 1995, Alban Institute)

In short, Jesus’ question to those who joined his movement was almost the same as the Dalai Lama’s two thousand years later:  What are you doing with your life to make the world a more compassionate place?   

As we continue with our plans and our lives, let’s not forget that essential question, the main witness of Jesus’ life and death.  Let’s write that question on a notecard and put it in our wallets; let’s tape it to our refrigerators; let’s take it into our voting booths; let’s pray it every morning.  Jesus came not just to model compassion but to transform the world through the compassionate actions of his followers.  

What are you doing with your life — what are we doing with our shared life — to  make the world a more compassionate place?  That’s the question.

~ Kim

Many best selling books focus on the power of now, but there’s another power, important to every spiritual community. It’s the power of how.

Churches should focus on how to connect with others, how to grow together spiritually, how to create and strengthen community. In terms of contemporary technology, we need “apps,” applications, of the values we have and uphold. We need ways of teaching and sharing those values. Perhaps this is why Jesus was asked to teach us how to pray. His teaching, his “app,” became the most famous prayer of all time–the Prayer of Jesus, the Lord’s Prayer, found in the Gospel of Matthew.

In Matthew, Jesus instructs us to pray according to a process laid out in the prayer. The Lord’s prayer is a guideline on how to pray.

In our complex contemporary world, people are still asking the same question-not only how to pray, but how to live the truth we see.

It’s still a good question. What’s your answer?